Today I would like to share something from my morning devotions on Saturday of this week. Something from the Bible study Book "Captivated by God" (you can click that title to see where you can purchase a copy of the book for yourself.)
I enjoy doing Bible Study Books for my devotions because it helps me to really focus on my studying of God's word and directs my thinking more than just sitting down to read a chapter of the Bible (which I have done in the past, nothing wrong with that, each person is different), I find that if I just read my mind likes to wander off to my to do list so I'm reading but not comprehending what I'm reading. I started through this book for the second time the other day and so far I'm gleaning things that I didn't remember were there the last time. It's neat how when you read your Bible once and then go back and reread it again at another time, how you gain something different from it each time.
Today's Study was on trials and things we go through and how they prove Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." (KJV) One of the questions in the book was this: "Can you see through present or past trials and recognize that all things are working together for your good? Share a particular time of testing that you can say God has worked together for good in your life. Explain how." (Captivated by God 2010, pg. 15 Gospel Light, Ventura, California, USA) I thought about that question and then began to write in my journal about a dark time that happened in my life about 2 years ago, I really didn't know how I was going to make it or if I would. I went through a terrible depression, that I just couldn't seem to get through, I went to a couple counseling sessions but that only seemed to make it worse so I quit going. I had some awful things go through my head during that time and felt so tormented that at times I wondered where God was in all of it. However today looking back I realize that God was using those experiences to draw me closer to him. If any of you have ever dealt with depression you know how hopeless, alone, and desolate you feel. One night sitting at the dinner table, I had made a new recipe and all I could do was sit at the table and cry, I don't even know why I was I crying I just couldn't help it, I felt terribly sad. After dinner that night I went and got out my Bible and my study materials and I studied and studied my Bible for at this time that's the only things that was getting me through my days was time with God. During that dark time, I learned the power of the blood and the power of prayer and how I should never underestimate those things. Jesus was with me though at times I felt alone, Jesus was with me.
During this time I was desperate for any kind of solace that I could find, I pulled out a CD that a friend had given me for Christmas a couple years before this and I played it. It was a CD of a family that I knew and had grown up knowing them. One of the songs on the CD was called "I'm not Alone" I sat and wept when the words of that song hit me, then I began praying and praising God. It seemed for that period of time that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
However the depression continued on for awhile longer. But I began to see that the scripture in Ephesians 6:12 that says "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." really had meaning (not that I hadn't thought this before.). I was wrestling with something bigger than myself but not bigger than God. I began to turn my darkness, my depression, my battle over to God and began to watch Him do the fighting. I realized that up until that point I had been trying things on my own to get relief, but it seemed once I started going to God sometimes several times a day reminding Him (not that He needed reminding) that this was HIS battle now not mine, the darkness seemed to start to brighten.
There are days still when it seems dark and like I'm fighting for all I'm worth, but I've learned that Jesus is my peace and that when I truly abandon myself to Him and turn my struggles, my battles, my darkness over to Him, He'll turn weeping into joy. For weeping may endure for the night but Joy is coming in the morning.
I think in answer to that question for today was that yes, I believe that God was working all things for my good, because during that time I learned what pleading the blood, and fighting on my knees was about, I realized that God is bigger than any mountain that I'll ever face! I learned that I'm never alone Jesus is always with me, and though I might be weak and I see only one set of footprints, Jesus is carrying me through!
The author to this is unknown but the poem was taken from here.
Do you have a devotional post you write for Sundays? Feel free to link up below!